Having a healthy social life and a supportive circle of friends can enrich the quality of life deeply. The right friendships can uplift spirits, provide support in times of need, and strengthen a sense of security within oneself.
Not all friendships have the same positive impact, though. Some relationships leave us feeling unbalanced, where we feel like we give more than we receive. Instead of leaving social gatherings feeling fulfilled, we walk away feeling empty.
When personal needs are continuously suppressed to maintain harmony, we are essentially sacrificing ourselves in the name of friendship. Just as we learn to recognize warning signs in romantic relationships, it is also essential to identify “red flags” in friendships.
According to psychologist Mark Travers from Cornell University, individuals closest to us play a significant role in shaping our sense of security and self-worth. Red flags refer to warning signs or early indicators of a potentially negative or harmful situation, behavior, or condition. In the context of relationships, red flags signify unhealthy traits such as controlling, manipulative, distrustful, or abusive behavior.
In friendships, we need to recognize whether our relationships with friends are healthy or when we should “back away,” as Travers puts it. Travers mentions at least three red flags to watch out for in friendship relationships.
The first red flag is when a friend only seeks help when they need it, whether it’s physical, material, or emotional support, and rarely shows up otherwise. This one-sided dynamic can leave a person feeling undervalued.
Another red flag is when a friend constantly vents emotions but rarely asks about your well-being. While being a supportive listener is key in friendships, it should be a two-way street to maintain balance.
The third red flag is when a friend always redirects conversations to focus on themselves whenever you share your experiences, making you feel unimportant. Emotional invalidation can have long-term negative effects on one’s emotional well-being.
Overall, while friendships don’t need to be perfectly balanced all the time, consistent one-sided relationships may indicate an unhealthy dynamic. True friendships are not about who suffers more but about mutual support and strengthening each other to remain whole.
